The End In The Beginning

Posted on 18. Jul, 2009 by justinbryeans.

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May what I’ve written here
In sleepless grief and dread
Live in my children’s ears
To warn them of their need
And ask them to forbear
In time when I am dead

So they may look and see
For past and future’s sake
The terms of victory
They cannot win or take
Except by charity
Toward what they cannot make.

Wendell Berry, from A Timbered Choir: The Sabbath Poems 1979-1997

Wendell Berry is one of my favorite American authors, and I could go on for some time as to why this is the case.  But for the sake of this first post I’d like to center on just one. As is captured in the imagery of the poem above, Berry reminds me over and over again, in his short stories, novels, essays and the little glimpses into his life that I’ve come across, about the presence of the invisible in the visible.  The eternal in the temporal. The end in the beginning.

On some level his words quoted here may seem stark and absent from the joy embodied during these warm and open days of summer.  Yet, they also capture the tension, honesty, beauty and ache that I find myself, at times, living in and desiring to live in. Why would I desire these, tension and ache?  Honesty and beauty pose no problem, at least in desiring them, but these others?

As I immerse myself in the Jesus way all of these are present and primary characters in the unfolding story.  On some days, they are characters that I dislike, ignore, and re-create with features a bit less pronounced and a bit more quiet.  Obviously, this serves my shadow, and his desire for consumption and power, well.  But thankfully these faithful characters persist, fighting through the static of these days, and I join them for late night conversations, stop light lessons and many other adventures in the ordinary.

And so, may this first post serve as a trajectory for posts, days, conversations, friendships, experiences and work that is to come.  May Berry’s words above remind me to live, and to embody the end in the beginning of everything I set out to be and do. For, again, “the terms of victory (we) cannot win or take, except by charity toward what (we) cannot make.”

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